For those who know anything about astrology, I am a triple water sign. I am a Scorpio with a Scorpio Moon and Pisces Rising. This basically means that I am a walking ball of mutable emotion. And it’s true. The Scorpio is represented by the Eagle and the Snake. This is because Scorpios have extreme highs and intense lows. We are also one of the most adaptable and changeable of the signs, so we can pretty much go with any situation we have to.
For the most part I am the annoying optimist who is telling you it will all work out and let’s face the problem head on and squash it. It will make us stronger! But then there are days like today. This is a “Snake Day” for me as I am pretty much at the bottom of my emotional bucket.
After three days of being on deadline, a Valentine’s Day where I couldn’t even afford to buy 99 cent store Valentine’s Day cards for my MOTHER or WEEGIE (99 cents ain’t a bargain if you ain’t got 99 cents) and constant criticism without positive reinforcement—I’m just a walking bucket of crazy today. Last night I was working late and got so frustrated over everything I actually found myself on the verge of tears at my desk. WTF?
In some ways I blame myself. I was also fortunate enough to be born in the Chinese year of the Dog. A Scorpio Dog … Main trait in both? Complete loyalty. So I tend to stick with things that I feel need me instead of looking out for my own mental, physical and financial health. Which is why I spent 8 1/2 years building a theatre company and putting up with theatre diva assholes the entire time. I’ve been retired from theatre for almost a year now and still, as I watch it sliding downhill, watching them make mistake after mistake, I have to force myself to keep out of it because I still feel a loyalty to the company.
So here I sit, unable to find the key to pulling me out of my funk today. Global warming, the government fucked up, war with Iraq, unpaid bills, people dying of flu, 8 week sinus infections, AIDS, evil drag queens, homophobic printers and friends you lose faith in. And I don’t understand why people are so comfortable with being cruel to each other. It’s maddening.
And now, I must find a way to make myself stop whining and sounding so pathetic before I go all Bjork on some poor Japanese reporter. Here’s two vids from youtube that express my day and the clip of Bjork just because it makes me laugh and I need that today. Love to all.
The Corrs – Everybody Hurts
Alanis Morrisette: Crazy
Bjork attacks!
Posted by Bean on February 15, 2007 at 8:03 PM
Sorry you’re feeling bad – hopefully things will look up soon. Because of my bday date, I’m a Libra/Scorpio – not sure what that says about me. Hope you feel better soon!
Posted by SpecialDelivery Mark on February 19, 2007 at 9:47 AM
Hope the day got better as it dragged on. I sure appreciated the nice Valentine you sent out to me! That was great artwork, I used it as the album art for my latest show. Thanks Matt!!!